40 of the dullest tools from 2021’s shed

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11. Ron DeSantis

Ron DeSantis

Illustration: Getty Images

Ron DeSantis is a turd. The foulest of turds. Ron DeSantis is the type of foul turd that a person with no appreciation for your hospitality would leave in your toilet, not flush, not spray, leave the door open, and refuse to wash their hands after. He is as foul of a turd as there is floating in the toilet bowl of American leadership.

His new Stop W.O.K.E act is: a legislative proposal that will give businesses, employees, children and families tools to fight back against woke indoctrination. That is a literal sentence on the website of a public servant of the state of Florida. His No. 1 goal at this point appears to be, outside of getting re-elected, is to pull out every stop in his quest to make the state less welcoming for racial minorities, women, and members of the LGBTQ community.

DeSantis has even found a way for his foul stench to creep into sports. He signed one bill over the summer to promote “intellectual diversity” in college education. Students and faculty will be surveyed to make sure there is a “diversity” of opinions on Florida campuses and if a student feels that a professor is not allowing them to freely express their opinion, they can record the class with no penalty. DeSantis also passed a law forcing athletes in secondary and post-secondary public education to compete against the members of their sex, not their gender identity. For him, in the middle of a pandemic, gun violence epidemic, inflation, and rising hate crime rates, making sure that ignorant and offensive viewpoints can be shouted or taught in a college classroom with no judgement or reprimand, and an athlete at a school is not allowed to participate in athletics in a way that makes them most comfortable.

So when you’re in Florida and everyone once in a while that nasty swampy stench hits you in the nose, it’s not just the swap you’re smelling. It’s a turd in Tallahassee flushing his stench into every inch of the state he governs.

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