Somebody please tell Tyreek Hill that flattery will only get Tua so far

brenda, jerry maguire, lamar jackson, method man, mikey, Patrick Mahomes, Tom Brady, tua, Tua Tagovailoa, tyreek hill, vaughn s, vince vaughn

Give your QB a break from the hype already, Tyreek.

Give your QB a break from the hype already, Tyreek.
Image: Getty Images

Since arriving in Miami, Tyreek Hill has been endlessly podcasting and writing checks his quarterback can’t cash. He said Tua Tagovailoa is more accurate than his former quarterback Patrick Mahomes. He gushed over his arm strength. On Saturday’s show, he said, “Reporters, analysts, Twitter trolls. All those people are gonna take their words back on what they said about [Tua].”

The person who set up Hill’s podcast has to be happy with himself — when he’s not in the editing booth trying to find usable audio where Hill isn’t claiming Tua has more poise than Tom Brady and more charisma than The Rock. The Cheetah has been running his mouth so much that his producer missed the “this is basically [Tua’s] last year, man, just to show people what he’s got” line that got aggregated out of context.

During Saturday’s episode, Hill even defended the person who tweeted out the infamous under-throw that the team’s Twitter account posted.

“I really believe they showed that clip of Tua under-throwing me just to get people talking.”

And why would the Fins’ Twitter account intentionally subject their quarterback to ridicule, Tyreek?

“Because they really know what Tua’s capable of, for real.”

Alright, man, whatever. Can we please stop retconning reality? I saw it, Twitter saw it, everyone saw the mallard Tagoviloa uncorked in a bucket hat as flimsy as the first few years of his career.

It’s really easy for Hill to call Tua money when he’s been so money himself. Not everyone has young Vince Vaughn’s tall, dark mystique — or Hill’s supernatural speed — so please stop embarrassing Mikey. He’s trying to get back the confidence he lost after college.

Hill bragging about his new quarterback isn’t going to turn Tagovailoa into his old QB, and placing more expectations on Tua when he’s having trouble fulfilling the franchise savior label is extremely unfair.

I appreciate the energy, but try spreading that effusive praise around before you give the poor guy a complex.

Lamar Jackson, amid a contract dispute, wonders why ‘I NEED $’ post taken the wrong way

There’s a large gap between regular people playing on their phones and an MVP quarterback who’s been moody about his contract playing on his phone. If Brenda from high school tweets out the “Let’s party!!!” GIF from Bridesmaids, the biggest mystery is why is Brenda getting rowdy on a Wednesday. But if Lamar Jackson changes his banner to a picture of I Need Money’s “I NEED $” grill from How High, social media is going to think a lot more than just hey, Lamar must really love Method Man and Redman.

Bleacher Report saw the switch and immediately connected the dots — accurately or not — to his ongoing contract situation.

The Baltimore Ravens quarterback took note and expressed his frustration with the media for something he posted at a charity event Saturday (via USA Today).

“I don’t know why people are blowing it up. I just saw Bleacher Report post it. They just take anything that’s posted on social media and just blow it up, and try to think for you. I don’t take it too seriously.

“They’re making it seem like I’m talking to the Ravens when I’m not. Our contract discussion is going on already. But it ain’t about that though. I’m not putting my business life on social media. I won’t ever do that. I won’t put my personal life on social media. I’ll show stuff, but I won’t throw subliminal [messages] out. That’s not me.”

So, in the middle of a well-publicized contract negotiation, Jackson thought sharing a photo featuring the characters “I” and “NEED” and “$” wouldn’t be misconstrued. OK… That’s also not exactly a subliminal message. I’m honestly failing to come up with a more overt movie reference to use. Might as well have shared the Cuba Gooding Jr. “Show me the money” clip. But it’s a little too on the nose, and Jerry Maguire isn’t the transcendent masterpiece of Hollywood cinema that How High is.

Now that I think about it, perhaps Jackson was telling the truth. I fucking love that movie, and the only thing more iconic than I Need Money is his mouthpiece. So it’s possible.

Maybe. May-be. Mayyyyyyy-beeeeee… Nah, no way. This freaking guy. If you want to play on your phone, Lamar, download Candy Crush.

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